:: Just pitch your tents over there... through the gate to the pool and tennis court ::

Turning up for what I thought might be a glorified barn dance on Saturday, I was surprised to hear the above on arrival at The Big Biffter. This was welcome news after a couple of hours in a sweaty car and in no time at all, we'd donned our swimming togs and jumped in. The event was a big success, with plenty of food and booze to go round. It was a slight shame that the latter half of the DJ line-up consisted solely of trance variants: Nu-Trance, Euphoric Trance, Bollox Trance, Progressive Trance etc etc. One type of this cheesy no-brain excuse for dance music was more than enough for the likes of me and Tigger, who bemoaned the conspicuous paucity of Hip-Hop. As a towny (who should certainly know better), I got caught out by the vagaries of the Suffolk climate and retired shivering in my t-shirt at 3.30am. My towel, hung out to dry after the pool session, was dew-sodden. It was just as well that the British Summer prevailed and provided another glorious sun-soaked day yesterday. Already half-baked in the tent by 9 o'clock, I tottered to the pool, to find like-minded individuals sunning themselves and taking a constitutional dip. Much of the day passed this way until Hertz car rentals of Victoria beckoned at 5pm. My intentions of unpacking, doing the washing and settling down to watch Six Feet Under were dashed when I fell asleep on the sofa before the Antiques Roadshow had even begun.

So, back to dreary pet foods. On the horizon however is the even more yawn-inducing Packaged Foods storechecks. I can't really explain what these are really, lest a sudden attack of narcolepsy strike, and I end up on the sharp end of the Boss' tongue. My day was brighted up by the arrival of this from one of the Biffter attendees - it appears to be a clip of ping pong à la Matrix. You'll see what I mean when you watch it... I should also mention this little gem from b3ta's latest compo (hover over pic for full explanation):

It's reminiscent of the Elvis Presley Dambusters Clock Plate of Tutankhamen from Viz's memorable tatalogue (what a shame they've now removed the Diana Princess of Wales Full English Breakfast Plate - a masterpiece of marketing).