:: Do Svidanya, bitches ::

Only an hour to go before leaving this hole for a week - St Petersburg ahoy! Needless to say, I'm excited at the prospect of seeing old friends and knocking back some excellent vodka.

Since I'll be out there with my Dad, his wife and Blondinka Butchovna, I'll be acting as translator on the tourist trail. I'll get to see the wonderful Hermitage again, and certainly won't be spending every hour god sends pissing my money up the wall with Pashik and Co. Of course, at this time of year, St P is famous for the "White Nights", when you can still walk around in twilight at 3am. So I'll be treated once more to sights like this:

In my absence, I exepct you all to have memorised the Russian national anthem to serenade my return. Vodka will be the reward for successful students. Click on Vladimir Vladimirovich (Putin) to hear a quick blast:

Hmm, that seems familiar, you cry. Well of course it is! After a half-hearted attempt to resurrect the old Imperial Russian Anthem (o which no-one seemed able to fit any decent words), the authorities reverted to the rousing Soviet anthem, with altered words. Click on Vladimir Ilyich (Lenin) to read all about this inspiring piece of aural propaganda. Some people have even been known to have the tune on their mobile phone...

...and if you're still bored, learn how to swear in Russian. I'll leave you now with my favourite Slavic obscenity (it translates roughly as "a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush"):

"Luchshe hui v ruki chem pizda na gorizonte"