:: Equine Eruptions ::

After the news yesterday that some old biddy had complained about a pensioner fiddling with horses willies, I was interested to note that today the man was acquitted - apparently he was feeding the beast with a "bag of mints". Alarmingly, this is not the first time equine ejaculation has flitted into the path of my consciousness. In between dozing I saw "highlights" of five's 99 Things To Do Before You're 30. I obviously didn't miss much when these programmes first went out last year. 4 presenters take it in turns to take part in second rate Jackass/Banzai activities. One of these involved intercepting a mounting stallion with a 2-foot faux-horsey-mimsy to collect his sperm. My dinner didn't taste quite the same after watching that.
Elsewhere I read that a lady in Suffolk had complained about her neighbour's noise pollution - the sound of their horse micturating loudly. And before I leave the topic altogether, here's a heartwarming story about a champion horse from today's Grauniad. Exactly the kind of anodyne shit to placate the American populace in the post-Iraqi War era... and to distract them from the fact that peace in the region is still far from a reality.

And now for a brief intermission. A b3ta beater from miaowweb:

Continuing my commentary on the "Land of the Free" and it's idiot-nonsavant president, two recent Guardian articles have caused further disquiet at Devukha Central. First came the news yesterday that freedom of speech is no longer free. It costs $125,000 to make your voice heard in a respectable US newspaper. Whilst veering towards the patently anti-democratic, Bush and most of the pandering right-wing press simply deride any dissenting voce as immoral. (Talking of which, Tucker Max's stories of debauchery are well written, if a little frat-boy for my liking - look at the one about his "most disturbing conversation ever"). Bush's subsequent assault on "old Europe's" resistance to American GM crops flies in the face of any opinion poll that's ever been run in this continent. Not only is GM food unwelcome here, but it should certainly not be foisted upon farmers of the developing world as Bush insinuates. I find it insulting in the extreme that he can stand up and fight the corner of big US business to make profits out of the destitute and hungry in Africa. Not only would these disadvantaged members of the world community have to pay more for their GM seeds, but they would then be obliged to hand back remaining seeds the following year (rather than planting them) due to patent laws. Shame on you, Dubya.

All diatribes must come to an end. This one concludes with happy news from Tigger. She sent me the following to show some people making their own Weebl and Bob characters:

Guess what we're planning to do this weekend. Bags I make Wee Bull!