:: Bloody Nora, It Ain't 'Alf A Swelterer ::

I'm stuck in the stuffy office as usual on a sultry workday afternoon. Sometimes this weather makes me want to be a windowcleaner - at least I'd get a chance to appreciate the sun a bit. I took a full hour at lunchtime to savour a couple of shandies in the park and soak up those rays. The inevitable consequence is that I've felt a little woozy all afternoon, especially as I stayed up till after 3 chatting to Pikelet last night... I couldn't half do with one of these though:

The proposed cocktail crawl with La Gribouilleuse has been postponed in favour a light supper and sipping Kir in the garden. And then I've got another fucking barbecue to put up with tomorrow. I'm sure all this recent charcoal ingestion must be doing wonders for my bowels.

So, on the day when Dubya proved he he couldn't stay upright on a silly scooter, you may ask what worthy morsels have come my way? Aside from the usual ananova crap (Chinese zoo stops allowing visitors to shoot animals and Man arrested for putting condoms on a statue of Jesus) not much really. The Guardian has launched an gastro-snob attack on the refuge of many a hung-over Devukha. I feel this should be immediately rectified with this fab guide to London's greasy spoons. My retinue and I have now established favourite greasing-holes (not an innuendo - oh, puh-leeeease!) in many far-flung corners of the metropolis. I don't need the Grauniad to tell me that I should be eating foie gras and truffle oil mash after a night on the sauce, thank you.

That paper did come back into favour when I read today's account of observing the Daily Mail "referendum" on having a referendum about the new European Constitution. I await the results from the readership of the most eurosceptic UK tabloid with bated breath. I'm sure it will prove to be a "defining moment in the history of democracy" or some other such high-flown guff. Talking of spinning (round poles at any rate) - look at the entertainment provided for Phoney Tony and Georgie Porgie at the recent G8 summit:

I can't leave for the weekend without mentioning another website. Have you ever received a dodgy spam email about poor Mr Ngwacamole in Nigeria who desperately needs you to send him $20,000 so he can release large sums from a foreign bank account? Most of us are happy to press the delete button, but these guys have taken decided to play the spammmers/scammers at their own game. The level of devotion to the cause is astounding (some of the site authors even flew to Dubai to meet one of them), but the results are hilarious in the extreme.

Get outta here!