:: We Can Work It Out ::

*** WARNING: following a lapse in recent blog output, Devukha needs to perform the linkage equivalent of colonic irrigation. Please look away now if easily bored or offended. ***

(1) Self-Seeking Saddo
Obsessed as ever with web-users' attempts to find me online - or rather their serendipitous discovery of Devukha via Google, I republish some of the choicer search terms which have been used to find this site.
My current favourite is narcolepsy percy shelley, for which this site currently comes up third. I can help thinking that the hapless googler in question would be rather disappointed to find Devukha - or indeed the first result. It's hardly a GoogleWhack, but I wonder if the 37 results displayed were useful to that searcher? Others, ranging from the bizarre to the almost predictable are:

  • write ups modern city hall - Nearly relevant. Presumably looking for an insightful architechtural critique of the "Squashed Bollock" next to Tower Bridge.
  • investment proposal write ups - No idea. Am shocked to have been picked up by such a mundane business-like search-term.
  • ricciarelli recipe - No surprise. It's amazing how many others seem to be trying to recreate the sweetmeats Salieri slathers over in Amadeus.
  • Melmoth shakespeare greenwich - Obviously looking for the show I reviewed. I recommend the same company's production of Midsummer Night's Dream next month.
  • pepsi max banraku - That popular advert...
  • "creamy muck muck" - Dick 'n' Dom's favourite game. I always advocate Saturday morning kids' TV for a hangover.
  • "circle line party" - Still haven't been to one yet.
  • "version of almost blue" - Must refer to La Foscqette's version of the Elvis Costello track. Well worth a listen.
  • www.douglaspledger.com - Why type in a url? I thought that too, until I realised you could search for sites that link to a particular address by typing "link:" in front of it.
  • spooky wastwater - I'm already getting nostalgic about visiting the Lakes last month.
  • "imperial russian anthem" - Not as good as the Soviet one, which has now been readopted with different words.

(2) Lies, Damn' Lies & Sadistics
It has been a pleasure to observe the expansion of the Taxloss cyber-empire in recent months. This Isn't London, a veritable mine of misinformation, has picked up a number of impressive web-accolades and a loyal readership. This isn't the first time deliberate lies have been launched onto the web, of course - The Brains Trust's "Unreliable Facts" pages have been around for some time, producing such occasional pearls as the following:

Sex Education (Clove): Topographers working on a new road map for the historic city of Cambridge discovered an unsettling coincidence. If you place a sheet of tracing paper over the 1826 map of the city and, using a pencil, write the words 'Bed Flute' on the paper, when you remove the tracing paper and hold it up to a light source, you are presented with a mildly amusing euphemism for the male sexual organ.

That might have made me smile, but many of the others - like the content of that site in general - are weak to say the least.
This Isn't London avoids the obvious targets (nearly!) and rarely fails to raise a giggle. Mill Hill East is its younger, more truthful cousin.

(3) Our Marr, Unlikely Star
As promised, a swathe of links concerning the Beeb's plug-eared political correspondent. With the party conference season in full swing, he's a busy man at the moment - and I'm not the only one making cheap jibes at the expense of his face. However, Marr follows in a long line of physically interesting political reporters. His animated approach to presentation certainly livens up BBC new bulletins, and offers plenty of opportunity for parody on Dead Ringers. Some may dread the hypnotic power of Marr's eyebrows, but his (real) powers of analysis shouldn't be abandoned at the behest of physical prejudice. Marr's piece on how to read newspapers is engaging and instructive.

(4) A Pox On Those Pix!
Not much comment required for these - in current non-bandwidth-stealing mode these are of course linked rather than nicked. My favourite images from the past month:
  • Compact parking in Surrey - no jokes about women-driverzzz...
  • Lovely hand-drawn mazes - print them out and try them.
  • Elton John on stamps - how many puns on "Queen's Head" can you fit into a mini?
  • Architect Jenga... - diversion by design.
  • Steve Bell: "Fcukwits for Justice" - Grauniad cartoonist has a field day.
  • Martin Rowson on blood sports - Grauniad cartoonist has a field (sports) day.

(5) Chavs Will Rule The World
Another well-trodden path. The chav-baiting scene had a number of notable pioneers, but now it seems that it's no longer shameful to bear the name Charver. Po-facedly, The Beeb highlighted the problem of Britain's Burberry-touting mutant underbelly, members of which wear their ASBOs with pride. "Those Awful Hats" is now less like to be a reference to an early silent film, than a reflection on the ubiquity of the vomit-inducing trucker cap. And if you search for chav on the Argos website, the results are all too predictable. And wannabe transatlantic chav-ess BritBrit has got married again, and hastily arranged a "pre"-nuptial agreement after the wedding.

Next time on Channel Devukha - The Launch Of Leon or "how Tigger and I stalked the ITN news team"...