:: Newsfelch... ::

In the week when some double-jointed mobilista broke the record for the fastest SMS message, I've been rushing around like nobody's business. In case Ms Yeo chipped a nail whilst achieving this feat, she can always print new ones, with a handy new design of inkjet printer. And I can at last kick back my heels and indulge in the latest technology for somnolent souls.

In fact, I won't be able to rest at all this weekend. The relentless toil in pursuit of social acceptance has meant a recent neglect of things domestic. So rather than heading to the pub with m'colleagues, I'm going to head home to clear my bedroom. Hell, I might even hang around in lady's clothes (I only do ladies' things!) and mop the floor before the plumber turns up.

My favourite work-related (vaguely) story of the week is Unilever's exercise in rebranding. This is a masterful exercise in corporate bullshit, anodyne fuzziness and fake compassion. I love it almost as much as I hate it.

In other news, the Grauniad gamely investigated gay prejudice at Scottish b&bs and the Beeb revealed that the Daleks have finally been exterminated. With a lack of better things to criticise, the New Yorker's finest grammarian railed against innaccuracy in Lynne Truss's bestseller. Many in this country - including myself - have been slightly aghast at the pedantic vitriol meted out in this article. As the War Of The Commas rages on, it seems inevitable that the rather toungue-in-cheek tone of Eats, Shoots and Leaves was rather lost on that particular reviewer. John Mullan's article stresses one positive effect of the book: it has, at least, opened up a lively debate on use of language, which can never be a bad thing. As in much art, I think the power of experience writers to break the "rules" in a considered way has produced some beautiful work. Nevertheless, the line between clarity of expression and bloody-mindedness can wear a little thin, and those of us who indulge in pedantry might do well to do so sparingly.

On, finally to retail therapy - that beginning-of-the-month blow-out before £20 has to last me a week. Armed with a new bag from Muji, I now head off into the weekend sunset to pamper myself with Molton Brown skincare products. Tigger's predictable reaction was "Oooh, you're such a metrosexual!" - my equally predictable riposte should have been that I thought there had been a typo, but I refrained. New CDs I shall be listening to this weekend are: the new album from Razorlight and also that of The Killers. I'm still waiting for the Kings' of Convenience latest opus to arrive. On a final note (yay for puns!), I think The Hives currently have one of the best band websites. Their new album, Tyrannosaurus Hives, should be a blast, too.

/exits, silently headbanging to Walk Idiot, Walk...