:: Bashing the Beeb ::

The screechy right-wing press is having a field day. Rupert Murdoch's arch-enemy, the Venerable Beeb, has come under severe criticism from the Hutton Enquiry Report. After rushed resignations of the Chairman (Gavyn Davies) and Director General (Greg Dyke) replacements had to be found quickly...

...let's cut the frivolity. It is a sad day when a Government-sponsored Enquiry lashes out at one of our most prized institutions. Apart from achieving b3tan Front Page Status, the talented Taxloss has also given this matter some thought. He refers to Rod Liddle's article. It should of course be noted that Liddle resigned from Today because he had expressed his political views too overtly in The Guardian.

The sorry naivity of those who believe a law lord's report is hardly remedied by the reportage in Mr Murdoch's ego-media. For me, Mr Hutton and his syncophantic report can be boiled down to a series of regrets:

- I deplore the duplicity of this powerful government, which has lied in order to gain public support for the War In Iraq.
- I am deeply unsettled by the political influence the Government has attempted to wield over non-partisan civil servants.
- I am outraged by the way in which a single exaggeration in a BBC news report was blown up to such an extent, and ultimately led to the tragedy of Dr Kelly's death.
- I am horrified at the prospect of the BBC being unjustly discredited, downgraded or dismantled at the behest of Tony Blair's friend, Rupert Murdoch.
- I mourn the lack of critical scepticism in the public at large: if the gullible masses are prepared to believe every word they read without critical consideration, our education system is failing.

This is the government's ultimate exercise in spin.

Fortunately I'm not the only one who thinks this way. Bloggerheads has set up a simple web-based campaign. The logo in the top right of your screen shows that I believe in the BBC: in its role as a public service, as detached as possible from the political sphere; in its encouragement of the talented in society, whatever their background; in its role as a trusted news provider in the UK and internationally; and for keeping at least some of our channels free of mind-numbing lard-lifestyle-promoting commercials. I hope others will also take this simple act of solidarity - the public must fight for its public service.

Rant over for now. On a lighter note, the clown at b3ta have come up with the best photoshop comp in ages. Get 'shopping, kids!

:: Blubber Shower ::

While London struggles to cope with a measly couple of snow showers, the Taiwanese seem to have had it a lot worse. A 50 tonne decomposing Sperm Whale exploded, spraying the city of Tainan with cetacean detritus. Trains were delayed due to the "wrong sort of blubber" on the tracks.

Back to the music. Last night was an excellent introduction to The Ruffness and The Big Hand: the music was fab, so Tigger and I had a bit of a dance, despite the preponderence of doey-eyed girls and poshboys with round-neck jumpers. Let's hope they play again in London soon - both highly recommended for their reinterpretations of Ska, D'n'B, Reggae and Jazz. I've now decided that all bands should invest in a trumpeter...

After a few evenings spent languishing in front of some shite telly, my social whirl has regained its momentum. Gigs seem to be the order of the day: Acoustic Trip next Tuesday, the "Legendary" Mantle Of Beez play the Dublin Castle on Wednesday...

...and life just wouldn't be the same without this monthly spectacular the day after:

:: Back To Banality ::

That's that I suppose. Shakers Re-Stirred has finally bitten the dust. Not that I'm down in the dumps about it. Fantastic to have the opportunity of pulling it off again - something of a relief to have a slightly less full diary...

So, I suppose it's time to recommence my ramblings on choice nibbles of neglected news from yesterday and today.

  • Atheletics News: It was reported yesterday that David Bedford has sued The Number for their impersonation of him in their infamous 118-118 "Got your number!" ads. I wondered if after Fanny Blankers-Koen's death at the weekend, her estate was planning to trademark the name "Flying Housewife". then they might be able to sue anyone who turns up to this year's Olympics in a floral dress.

  • Irony News: Following the BBC's analysis of Americans and their supposed inability to use irony, I decided to do some work on the subject. Certain webtrolls seem to get rather worked up on the issue of what exactly constitutes irony. I certainly agree with what most of what is said about Alanis Morissette's inane whine-fest "Ironic"... unless the whole thing is supposed to be some kind of hilarious po-mo ironic joke. Whether or not this self-trumpeting "ironic" site has anything to do with that linguistic phenomenon, I'll leave to your discretion.

  • Politics, Religion & Sex News: As the Government plans to Reclassify Cannabis as a Class C Drug from tomorrow, few people seem to be aware of exactly what this implies. Here's a handy quiz from the Beeb to test yourself. Those cheeky Tories have vowed to re-reclassify Cannabis should they come back into power. Just don't forget if you get the munchies that Kebabs Fund Terrorism.
The Hutton Inquiry and Phoney Tony's scraped victory on tuition fees are being done to death - I can't be bothered to comment. However, word has reached me, that the Russian Orthodox Church has declared that Chess Is Not Evil After All. Phew.
And the obligatory sex story: scientists have identified the World's Oldest Penis. Thank God there are no pictures.

  • Gadget News: My Dad bought me a hilarious present for my birthday. The so-called Mega Memory Watch has an inbuilt 128Mb Flash Memory device, which allows me to carry around files on my wrist. Or something. My Dad's idea for a suggested use was to take photos along to a party, then offer to display them on a friend's computer. Well... I suppose, but what kind of parties does he think I go to? No doubt I'll be able to astound and amuse myself by swapping files from my work computer to the home one and back again.

  • Feedback: On the recurrent theme of Pikeys, Kevs and Charvers, the following site has come to my attention - Chav Scum. The pictures are very fetching - I'm particularly keen on the celebrity profiles.

That's that. After being told that the Big Freeze is on its way, then disappointed by the lack of any London-based action, I wearily greeted the arrival of a touch of snow this afternoon. No doubt it will all have gone by the morning, but commuter services will still inevitably be disrupted for weeks to come. Shouldn't stop me going out tonight though - if it gets too snowy for transport to run, I could just about walk to this gig:

:: Last Chance Saloon ::

Good news about Shakers Re-Stirred, Revived and Re-jigged this weekend. Saturday night has sold out already! Actually that may be bad news for any of you hoping to pick up a ticket on the door. However, I had the sense to block-book 8 seats for that performance... which means you might be able to get one off me if you're lucky. The past few days have naturally been fraught with the kind of stress a production normally brings: missing keys, last-minute line jitters and rapid re-upholstry. As we go into the Tech rehearsal tonight, I'm just hoping that all the sound and light equipment will be set up by the time I get there.

And my birthday on Sunday wasn't so bad after all. The lovely ladies from the cast even bought me a silly birthday cake to eat on set! The main celebration will be held at the aftershow party on Saturday, so I look forward to seeing a few familiar faces then...

If you want to be there, book your tickets quick...

:: Belated New Year Shite ::

Still no let-up in the workplace frenzy. As a result I've not had time to sort out the New Year links earmarked for inclusion.
As you'll see from the Link Of The Day (top right), those darned stars have some pretty nasty things lined up for us this year...

I was pleased as punch to read that a certain fat-arsed wench is no longer chanteuse du jour as I've never been a fan. I'm sure that beards are back in, but won't be able to revel in my new-found fashoinability as I'm about to shave it off. This is in preparation for a revival of "The Way We Live" (new play I was in last year). However, I'm tempted to grow it back afterwards, if only to annoy La Gribouilleuse...

Here's a tribute to hirsute luminaries of the past. Gentlemen, I salute your follicular fullness!

Devukha's Memorial Beard Board

Tempting as it would be to do an EJ Thribb, I shall leave it there. No Flowers.

Just think of me as I watch six week's worth of manly growth slither down the plughole tomorrow morning...

:: Back from Bloggie Obscurity ::

Well, if it weren't for an abrupt reminder from Wideboy about my free-falling PageRank, I might have left it for a couple more days yet. A jet-lagged bedraggled Devukha arrived in the office on Thursday to unearth the backlog from hell. Not being one to shirk responsibility, I've taken full advantage of the fact that my office stays open till 7.30pm to clear some of it. The result is a yearning desire to spill my guts on a New Year to remember... and no time in which to relate said events.

After suffering an interminable wait in JFK's infamous immigration queues, Jude and I were relieved to be whizzing into Manhattan without undergoing an internal cavity search. The regs hadn't been tightened up quite as much as Steve Bell imagined and this was before the fingerprinting fiasco began.

Bezuhoff and Flamethrower were impeccable hosts for the New Year celebrations - the perfect antidote to the trash-glitz of Times Square. Our Duty Free loot was amply supplemented by a booze-run into darkest New Jersey and the dinner-suited throng partied like it was 2999. Apart from mixing the odd apple martini, I managed to perform one of my standard party-tricks: once the champagne had flowed and Ol' Blue Eyes crooned us into 2004, I took a power nap... waking an hour later to find the party still in full swing, I indulged in a little left-footed lindy-hopping with the surviving drunkards. Unlike other attendant libertines, I did not narrowly avoid spraying a pile of coats by puking into a nearby blanket...

When I was last in NYC, the tempatation to avoid all things touristy was irresistable. This trend was not reversed, as Jude and I spent most of our time looking in bookshops and perusing the sales on 5th Avenue. Fortunately, this provided the opportunity for me to buy the perfect token gift for our hosts, the amusingly entitled Meat Me In Manhattan. For fear of upsetting Tigger's sensibilities, I shan't divulge too many details, but the robust advice contained therein was eagerly followed when we paid a visit to an Argentinian steakhouse. Also purchased was the excellent updated version of the Not For Tourists guide to the city. Tigger's was kindly lent to me for my last visit - I cannot recommend it highly enough, if the practical considerations of being in New York outweigh the touristic aims.

I did not, however, buy How Americans Became The Fattest People In The World. The answer seemed a little too obvious as I tucked into a mountain of pancakes and maple syrup. Perhaps only vigilante measures will stem the tide of lard...

City lights were followed by country charms as we headed out to rural Connecticut to visit Blondinka B. Although we spent a little less time there that I'd hoped, we packed in a reasonable itinerary, given the dismal weather. As I padded along the sodden beach, I was reminded of why this place was called New England. Less like blighty was the extraordinary availability of top-notch seafood. I lost my lobster-cooking virginity preparing dinner with Blondinka B. Although I admit the whole killing thing is a little tiresome, the results were more than worth it. Our short séjourn was topped off by trips to the world's largest (and trashiest) Casino and the US submarine museum in New London. Oh how we laughed...

Our final day back in the city allowed us a chance to saunter round Greenwich Village and the Meat-Packing District, before the inevitable 5am anti-climax of turning up to wait in line at the airport. At least the Duty Free was open.

More to come tomorrow, I suspect, but in the meantime, look at the recent search terms which have come up with this site:

tigger costume dorset
welsh euro mp sexy

What is going on in people's heads?

:: Yes, I KNOW! ::

Lamentable as my lack of posts has been of late, I can only blame it on the festive season and too much work. Expect a full round up of recent events on Monday...