:: Snooze Review :

My Internal jukebox has gone into overdrive, with irritating ditties such as Dream A Little Dream Of Me the theme from Pigeon Street on a constant loop. On top of that, I had to contend with IJ renderings of Bette Davis Eyes, originally an 80s hit by Kim Carnes. I can only presume this is because I woke up in horror one night to discover Gwyneth Paltrow massacaring it in her father's dire film, Duets.

What a week it's been for über-buffoon Boris Johnson - with the removal of their most appealing and recognisable Shadow Cabinet member, the Tories really haven't got a political pot to piss in. I also discovered this week that the blond-mopped one has a brilliant middle name - de Pfeffel - which he shares with a minor German poet.

That hornet's nest of living anachronisms, the Royal Family, has come in for some media scrutiny in recent days. Not only has Chaz been branded out of touch (heaven forbid!), but a new snack brand has apparently got right up The Princess Royal's ample nose. At least Brenda and co should have fun patching up the entente cordial by throwing a bash for old leather-face Chirac at Windsor.

In brief, then: La Fenice, one of the world's great theatres, has reopened, Elton John's lecturing everyone on how to shop. The V&A have opened their new Architecture Gallery and Russell Crowe's been moonlighting. Gay animals are everywhere - Geri's dogs and a disgruntled Bulgarian pig farmer. And I still hate fucking ponchos: I think this was the final straw, but, at least now I know I'm not alone. I was also amused to see how a cutesy story about an extreme spelling bee fucked up Ananova's page design.

Oh, and I'm off for a long weekend. Not going away of course, but I shall be attending this. I loved the following description of the event: "an opportunity to delve into men’s perception of grooming products and discover how far they are prepared to go before it becomes a threat to their masculinity".