:: Hobby Jobby ::

Or... Buck up Kids! How To Occupy Oneself During The Easter Hols.

Wideboy, that notorious connoisseur of funky ephemera, has bemoaned a lack of decent hobbies in recent days. I aim to rid him of his listless blues and introduce a wide range of stimulating activities to while away his waking hours.

  • Following my recent walks on Primrose Hill with Jude, might I suggest a spot of kite making. The fact that this particular spot is London's Premier Kite Graveyard (I saw at least 6 caught in trees last weekend), that shouldn't be enough to put off the crafty types. Resources available on the web range from the rather lame and flimsy origami kite and pikey-tastic newspaper kite to the more technically involved aerodynamic splendour of the Flowform FF04A. Naturally at this time of year showers are never far away, so the first two options might be out of the question. Noneless less, people seem to have enjoyed braving the elements in this way for more than 2000 years. For those too lazy or busy to make their own can buy all they need at the online Kite Shop.

  • For people hemmed in at home by the vagaries of the British weather, a dose of tatting might be in order. Old-fashioned homecrafts have been increasing in popularity, as my recent exploits at the V&A have shown. You could even make you own SpongeBob Square Pants:

  • Those unwilling to pick up a needle and thread can still make an amateur career out of textiles. After his appreciation of my recently acquired Geoff McFetridge t=shirt, I wondered if Wideboy might like to print his own. Home fashion rocks!

  • Taking up urban speleology might be a good way of escaping from the house and avoiding the weather, but i'm not sure you'd be guaranteed to stay dry. For a slightly more sedate subterranean adventure, you could take on the All Stations Tube Challenge. 19 hours of fun-packed trundling, you might think, but you'd better kkep an eye on the Official Rules if you want to break the record.

  • Music might be the food of love, but have you ever tried playing the noseflute?
At least it beats blowing Shatner's Bassoon or a bout of tromboning

  • It may be a little late in the season, but parsnips are still readily available on our supermarket shelves. Why not try making some into parsnip wine rather than eating them? Or you could try this recipe instead. You may also be interested to know that the Russian word for parsnip is pasternak... which shares a name with the man who wrote Dr Zhivago.

  • Still on matters vegetal, you might like to take your knife into your own hands and produce some exquisite Thai fruit carving. This must be why the food sometimes takes ages to arrive in Thai restaurants. For an example of something to aspire to, see the carved pumpkin below:

Failing all else, try some of these quick tips: design some spoons that look better than these; Listen to the fab new album by Phoenix; have fun with dubbin; or attempt to build a sauna on a ship.

Failing all else you could hone your pop-up closing skills. Or you could get a pop-up blocker like any sensible person...