:: Tsk... ::

The job may have changed, but certain things are very much the same. The crap coffee for one thing... If only those dastardly cleaners hadn't trashed my cafetière. Then I might be able to enjoy a nice morning cup courtesy of these people. As it is, I now make an effort to get up an extra 20 minutes early each morning to prepare an espresso pot full of oily black goodness.

There have been unexpected bonuses in my new freelancer support role. The "Thou Shalt Not Download" commandment has effectively been waived so I can contact our staff round the world via ICQ and MSN Messenger. And there's nothing to say I might not use these programmes a little recreationally from time to time. As I'm currently engaged in burning multiple data CDs, there seems to be a fair amount of dead time when I can't really run too many other applications. Perfect then to peruse the news and compose the odd post or two. So here we go...

On Planet Ananova, things seem to be carrying on as ever: the terse news stories are bulked out by countless Quirkies. For the uninitiated, these are usually a showcase for the less fortunate - a chance to cock a snook at overtight Thai police uniforms or the exploits of a Romanian killer nun. While some of these makeweight factoids emanate from the UK, it's a safe bet that most poke fun at those who are about to join us in the EU or at those crazy oriental types. Here's a taster from today's bizarre buffet:

  • The polar bears at the Singapore Zoo have turned green. In order to avoid serious punnage, I should simply point out that this was due to algae growing in their hair in the damp tropical conditions. They are soon to have a peroxide job.
  • Apparently the residents of West Bromwich consume more baked beans than anyone else. What transforms this from a mere eyebrow-raiser to a flatulant fanfare is that the average shopper buys 11 tins of beans a week!
  • And in case you might have thought that my mind has turned from the ravages of alcohol, read this! I just wonder whether the extra kidneys are used in rotation or in combination. No doubt Wideboy will be able to tell me...

As for other sites, I was disgusted to see that on my return to the site for the first time in ages, The Onion now has fucking pre-site advertising. And as ever, Popbitch ain't worth the time of day. Just stick to their erratic mailout.

Well, even slackers have to go at some point. I off to enjoy pancakes chez La Gribouilleuse. Russians, however, have a whole week to enjoy pancakes - Maslenitsa. Due to the vagaries of the Julian Calendar, to which the Russian Orthodox Church still subscribes, this happened last week (16th-22nd February). No seasonal blini for me then...