Joys of joys.
Have just switched TV stations to discover a TV evangelist in full flow.
"God has told you to come up hither...
"...You cannot go back up the mountain...
"...God is the one that shocked the river...
"...When you get back there you will find that everyone will be different."
Swiss Raven keeps asking when are they going to speak in tongues. Sounds like the preacher is already.
[cut to some random film]
The Mummy? that was on last night - what the fuck is going on? I keep forgetting that there may be 50+ cable channels here, but they only seem to own 5 films between them.



---------------------------------------------------------------------


Suburban Nightmare Opera Project Proposal

A Suburban Nightmare

“In a faceless suburb, Veronica’s life has become a round of wifely duties. While her investment banker husband, Bill, is at the office, she is subjected to a series of wearing house-calls and coffee mornings with people she cannot stand. Seemingly trapped by social and domestic circumstance, and the knowledge that Bill is having an affair with her cleaning lady, Veronica plans to exact revenge and escape. She sees the only means of doing this to be a dramatic suicide, witnessed by Bill on his return from work…”

A Suburban Nightmare is inspired by this cycle of haiku, five of which were set as songs by Ben Foskett. The structure of the proposed opera will be outlined by a series of narrative scenes, punctuated by seven similar haiku of a searingly personal and dramatic nature, which provide commentary on the emotional background of each scene.


Proposed Characters:

VERONICA: housewife, mid-forties. Her education is effectively squandered and the only outlet for intellect is her through a circle of unadventurous women friends.

(BILL: investment banker, early 50s. Although he never appears on stage, Bill’s influence is felt through his interaction with Veronica and Maureen. Because of his role as the main breadwinner, Veronica feels squeezed into the part of dutiful housewife. He feels that with no children (his choice), in their comfortable financial position there is no need for Veronica to work and has a similarly old fashioned views on a woman’s tasks in the home. His affair with the cleaning lady is indicative of these attitudes, she provides passing entertainment, whilst Veronica’s position is as his support and long term companion.)

CLEANING LADY: mid 30s. Clearly of a lower social standing than BILL, with whom she is having an affair. Her son is at the same school as Anne’s.

WINDOW CLEANER (MARK): late 20s. Young, attractive and enigmatic, he is unthreatening and good at listening to people.

Coffee Morning Acolytes:
LYDIA and MARGARET: conform to all stereotypes of the blue-rinse brigade. They are gossipy, snobbish, twin-set and pearl-wearing harridans in their late 50s.
ANNE: a relatively young (about 35) mother and housewife with a son at the same school as the cleaning lady’s son. She is noticeably less bitchy than Lydia and Margaret.

VICAR (Rev BONE): a bumbling C of E vicar in his early 60s. His attitude to pastoral care is almost solicitous: despite his efforts to get his parishioners to share their problems he does not exude an air of confidence. With strong ties to people such as Lydia and Margaret, and a painful lack of social awareness, the Rev Bone is the last person you would want to confide in.


Proposed Scenario:

The action takes place over a single day, almost entirely within Bill and Veronica’s home.

The opera opens with the final action – VERONICA appears to have committed suicide in the living room, whilst the CLEANING LADY carries on dusting, then abruptly turning to sing:
   “Veronica hoped
   Bill would come back in time to
   see her suffocate.”
We then witness the events which lead up to VERONICA’s decision to commit suicide.

First, the CLEANING LADY arrives and does some housework, but has to leave early to “take her son to the doctors” (we later discover this is to meet BILL during his lunch-break). Left alone, she mulls over her situation and writhes in horror at the day’s activities to come.

Some time later, MARK sees her agitation as he is cleaning the windows and asks her what is wrong when he comes to collect payment. VERONICA invites him in for a cup of tea and divulges everything about her wretched life to this virtual stranger, who provides a sympathetic ear and a sexual frisson.

As she ushers him out, the coffee morning ladies turn up, remarking on the young man’s flushed appearance and VERONICA wishes she had put cyanide in their coffee. An uncomfortable hour passes, during which the older ladies make constant reference to VERONICA’s failings as a wife whilst ANNE blathers on blandly about her son’s progress at school. Shortly before they leave, ANNE mentions that the CLEANING LADY’s son was at school that morning.

Her suspicions aroused, VERONICA works herself up into a frenzy when the ladies have gone and attempts to call both her husband and MAUREEN, to whom BILL has always taken a shine. Regaining her composure, she formulates a plan – she will kill herself, ensuring that the time of her death coincides with BILL’s arrival home (he always gets the 18:14 from Victoria).

The emotional tension is broken by the unexpected arrival of the VICAR, who has come to ask about the flower arrangements for the coming Sunday. VERONICA struggles to remain calm as he outlines the respective merits of lilies and carnations and tries to get him to leave. Unswayed by this gentle persuasion, the Rev BONE probes her, attempting to discover what might be wrong. VERONICA will have none of this and escorts him out of the house.

When the CLEANING LADY returns to complete her dusting, VERONICA is initially polite and collected. Eventually she confronts the CLEANING LADY, who refuses to confirm or deny her involvement with BILL and carries on regardless. After this, VERONICA reveals her plan, but this has no effect on the CLEANING LADY – unmoved, she continues to dust the furniture, while VERONICA pours herself a large gin and pops a couple of valium. She removes a curtain tie and lies on the sofa – assuming the same position as in the first scene. The CLEANING LADY ignores VERONICA as she begins to strangle herself with the curtain tie, eventually turning to the audience to sing the final haiku:
   “In acres of chintz,
   the corpse in their living room
   hardly seemed fitting.”